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Black's Dictionary Machette


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Laws control the lesser man, right conduct controls the greater. -Mark Twain
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        I READ THIRTY YEARS of United States Supreme Court decisions in fourteen months in the custody of the Federal Correctional Facility at Seagoville, Texas on a parole violation.  They put me in charge of six other inmates right off the bus after I showed a copy of my diploma to the director of education, purporting to show I just graduated from a fly by night community college on the Gulf Coast, Phillips Junior College, whose dozens of campuses folded shortly after I graduated.  Took me three years to get a two year degree holding down a full time job and going to school three nights a week to receive my Legal Administrative Assistant, Associate of Applied Science Degree.   I made dozens of copies of it on the school copier and threw them out the window on the ride to a friends house where a bunch of people used to sit around after work getting wasted and I'd get up and go to class, not one of them ever believed me.  I plastered their walls with it.  Shortly thereafter my third dirty UA for THC my parole officer told me the next time she seen me she was taking me to jail.  Go home, get your affairs in order and I'll see you in a week.  I keistered a couple balloons and matches before essentially self surrendering.  Prepared large envelopes with correct postage waiting to find out where I'd be sent. 
            I STARTED at volume one, case number one, page one of  1 L.Ed.2d 1.  Lawyers Edition is the publication in competition with the actual United States Supreme Court Reports.  Beginning with Ball 1, Ball being the Supreme Court Clerks name, to 1956 when Volume 2 of Lawyers Edition began, is where I started.  It was like chopping thru the Amazon jungle with a Webster's and Blacks Dictionary as machete's.  I literally had to look up three or four words in every case and read it at least five or six times.  Time is the great equalizer, and I had plenty of it after I placed guys in charge of everything that had to be done.  Everyone they placed in charge of an Inmate Law Library is like handing a criminal a debit card with no limit, they rob the joint blind by charging and arm and a leg for badly articulated and poorly drafted petitions, that, set forth complaints which rarely afford relief.  As long as I didn't charge anyone, I was in like Flynt.  Right?

        RIGHT ABOUT the time I began my improbable quest to read a hundred and twenty volumes of US Supreme Court decisions in fourteen months (How much time you would serve back then for a dirty THC UA), one of the awfullest, nastiest cases made it's way to the Supreme Court (SCOTUS).   I'm talking the kind of case where Harvard Law professors lay down their pocket protector's and fist fight's in the classroom and pissing matches out back.
To be continued.
4:49 PM 3/16/2016


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