Skip to main content

The Real Drug Store Cowboy Busted by Mark Anthony Given

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
-Steven Wright
         GETTING BUSTED SUCKS.  All the things I've done, all the things I got away with, you would have thought I was a natural, but not this time.  Busted Red-handed and trapped right inside the pharmacy, there was only one thing to do... Just like before, Tony's Discount Drug's in a strip mall along Highway 90 in Ocean Springs, Mississippi, early morning hours, still had the hole in the roof from the broken exhaust fan and three bare wires.  After I removed the piece of plywood and cinder block I could see right down into the dimly lit store.
           THE FIRST TIME I ROBBED the Drug Store I described in "The Real Drug Store Cowboy," here
on this blog, I remember thinking right after I tied off my little soft rope and slipped off into the Rabbit Hole into wonderland, "This is either going to be a good story or a real bad idea."  This time however, I looked around in the early morning hours and at the hole in the roof just like before, and it was kind of 'de ja vu, and the last thing I was thinking as my head slid below the roof and out of sight into round metal exhaust, was, "Your going to jail, this can't be this easy...."        
          SURE ENOUGH, I get back to the pharmacy, I was running this time, trying to outrun the Cop's getting there I guess, filled up my pillowcase or backpack, get back up to the front of the store, and as soon as I get up to my rope hanging, right before the front register or check out,, I see a Cop dressed in Black with a flashlight in one hand and a gun pointing at me. I froze and squatted at the same time and hit a spinning rack of postcard and many of them went flying as I tried to steady the display.  If the Cop didn't see me before, he damn sure seen me now, 15-20' from the floor to ceiling plate glass front of the store.  The Cop stood right at the locked double doors almost in the center of the store and rapped on the glass with his weapon and screamed,
        "FREEZE!  Don't you move!" 
        He's talking into his shoulder Motorola notifying Dispatch of a "Burglary in Progress,"  and "Subject Inside."   His Black & White Patrol car was just feet behind him with the driver door open, and I figured right then I must have hit the sensor under the mat where the Pharmacist stands all day....
            I THINK I WAS DOPE SICK and squatting down behind now nearly empty display
was senseless, we were looking right at each other so I stood up and extended my arms and stepped aside and toward the door so he could see me real good.    All I could focus on was that Cannon he had pointing right at my chest, damn I didn't want to get shot!
         "Who else is in there?"
         "Just me." 
         I hear him relay what I told him and they were gonna need the key's.
         "How did you get in there?"
         I sadly pointed to the rope hanging from the hole in the ceiling where a exhaust
vent should be.
          "Don't you move!  I'll blow your fuck'n head off!"
          He had dark hair about twenty three and had put the flashlight away and was now
standing before me in the Police Stance double fist'n his Police weapon right at my heart, I started hearing police sirens in the distance and I noticed that the giant weapon was shaking ever so slightly, and he was scarred as I was.  I eased my right arm down and with my right hand  where I had cargo pants on and eased two fingers in and grabbed onto something and stated fishing it up...
        "Don't you do it!  I'll fuck'n shoot you, you son of a bitch!"
        "Control  'Step it Up!"
        He almost hollers into his right shoulder Radio.
I pull out a pack of Marlboro Red's and fish back in for a Bic Lighter, lit the cigarette
and squatted in front of him Indian Leg style on the Floor mats right in front of him, never taking my eyes off the front of the barrel of that gun.  Which looked like it was about 12" across....
           THAT'S WHEN I GOT PISSED.  I knew I was going to jail, would lose my girl, be gone
for at least a couple of years.  I was dope sick and somehow in the back of my head I had this idea that you can't shoot straight into plate glass standing right up on it like that.  Right or Wrong, I stood up and took a big drag on that cigarette that was almost spent, and flicked it right into his face but it shattered back in sparks off the glass, and said,
        "Fuck you asshole!  Shoot me, I'm getting High!"
         Spun around, grabbed my bag of goodies and started dragging it to the back like it
was heavier than it was, but was trying to stay low in case the maniac did start shooting.  I get back to the Pharmacy and bust open a Party Pack of U-100 Insulin Syringes, fished out a fresh 100 count bottle of 4 mg. Dilaudid, straight from Knoll Laboratories, just to get the party started...

 "Where you going? Get back here!  Don't make me shoot you!"

           THE PHARMACY FLOOR MAT was white with light green splotches and real soft except w
here two small sensors at each end were, and one of them was right behind my right ear.  I could see across the floor thru the door the large metal Back Door with a metal bar had a slight crack under the door and I could see clear outside, but I couldn't move....
             I could smell my mother's Ginger Bread or Banana Nut Bread in the oven and
classical music playing in the back ground and I wished I had a light blanket, it was cool on the cold concrete floor.
            "We're sending in the Dogs!"
 We had a giant golden brown Airedale that acted just like one of the kids he was so

           "Control, sending in K-9."  Calm measured tone.
           "This is your last chance!  These dogs are trained to tear     your ass limb for limb Boy! 

            You better come out!"
             I always loved dogs.  I remember one day after school we put my Dad's khaki work
pants and a hoodie on the dog.  I can still see that dog standing on his hind legs along the side of the garage trying to get to one of us on the roof and he looked like a man standing there.    But I didn't want to "Come Out."  I just knew that bread in the oven would be done soon....
              THE BIG BLACK BASTARD came flying around the corner into the pharmacy so fast
he slammed into the wall sideways and scrambled up to his feet and just froze looking at me smiling at him, sprawled out on my back on Tony's Discount Drug's pharmacy floor with a syringe laying next to my barely bleeding arm pit.
             "Get him Trigger!  Bite his ass!  Drag his ass out here!"
             I was smiling up at the big black police dog with bullet proof vest with BOMB
SQUAD and K-9 stenciled all over him like an advertisement for tragedy.  After a moment he started sniffing me like I was dead.
       "We have the place surrounded!  Come out with your hands up!  Don't make this
worse than it already is son! Come on out, now."
        I could hear the country twang in his voice and feel something slippery on my Elbow before I the last thing I remember his $30k highly trained Belgium
Police Dog was licking the bright Red blood off my arm as I

Popular posts from this blog

My Appointment With the Devil by Mark Anthony Given


We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet,  but we can at least respect his talents. -Mark Twain
  MID-THIRTIES I found myself alone at a lonely interstate rest area in Florida in the middle of the night, having driven from  New Orleans for the last several days, I went from rest area to rest area withdrawing from Methadone, starving but couldn't eat.  Dying of thirst, but couldn't drink.  Throwing up, diarrhea, high temperature and worst of all, I couldn't sleep.  Beg for sleep for three or four hours and sleep for ten minutes and start all over again.  I was at probably the lowest point of my life.  And I still had an appointment with the devil.    And he's going to be here in a minute.....          THE DEVIL IS REAL.  I met him.  Twice.  I know you're not going to believe this but I don't care.  I ain't got a reason to lie to y…

Circle Jerk City by Mark Anthony Given

 My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. -Rodney Dangerfield

I BUSTED OUT OF every juvenile home they placed me in when I was a kid.  Industry, The New York State School for Boys, fifteen miles south of Rochester, New York where my parents were, was the largest juvenile reformatory in the Empire State. I thought of this escape hundreds of times throughout the years as the seminal moment I became bad. Not real bad mind you, but bad none the less. Still thinking I was Matt Helm or James Bond, I plotted my daring escape from the moment they brought me there from a local juvenile detention facility which I also broke out of. To be honest with you I thought it was my duty to escape. I don’t know really why like I said I was a bad kid. Rolling thru the beautiful upstate New York countryside in the back of state car in the early morning hours to the famous “Industry,” the place you didn’t want to be, I considered for a few minutes the possibilit…

ONE RAT AT A TIME by Mark Anthony Given

 Information is the currency of democracy. — Thomas Jefferson
              THE FEDERAL REPORTER’S come out every few weeks in paperback. The latest United States Court of Appeals decisions, and the Federal Supplement’s containing every case worthy of publication from the lower or United States District Court’s. This is where the Rubber Meets the Road when determining WHO’S A RAT or who isn’t. If you are named in a Case as a Confidential Informant or Cooperating Witness; it’s written in stone. When I was the Head of the Inmate Law Library at the Federal Correctional Facility at Seagoville, Texas, just minutes from Dallas-Ft. Worth, in the early 1990’s, we had a file called “The Cut Case’s.” Guy’s would literally run from the Bus that brought them there, many Self-Surrender, to the Inmate Law Library and surgically cut their Cases right out of the Law Books. Or make the book disappear.              NEARLY ALL the cases brought to me involved Ra…