MR. PENNY CATES drove the new big white county van with our hoes and rakes in the back and three bench seats and usually ten Jackson County Jail Inmates, with me almost always riding shotgun for some reason or another. He looked alot like a vetran Mississippi state Police Highway Patrol Officer which is exactly what he was until he staged his own death and with law enforcement agencies from around the United States attending, Penny Cates showed up at his own funeral. He was the only one who thought it was funny and they fired him. #pennycates
"All right, once more and that's it!"
Not supposed to be smoking back here, but were "Trustee's" and somebody getting out tomorrow will hold up for it if need be.
"You guys are gonna give me cancer." A brand new Benson & Hedges 100's Menthol appears with the flick of his fingers that would sell for $10 in another part of the little hillbilly jail.
He light's it and inhales a big hit like savoring a bite of fresh apple pie. After a few hits he passes it around and half inch before the filter, he says
He's got the cigarette in his mouth and he takes one of the black guys T-shirt, "No do mine, do mine," Somebody hollered but Tommy ignored him and took the bottom of his T-shirt and pulling it forward and made like a little hole in the bottom hand like a Well, and he takes his right hand, his left hand is under the T-shirt forming the little hole, he takes a last hit off the cigarette and puts it out in the man's t-shirt like it was an ashtray! He reaches underneath and shows like a little ball where presumably the cigarette is and turns it around like a knot and told the black kid to hang onto it. There's were maybe 8-10 people watching now and the kid's real smiling and jumping around like the thing might explode.
After plenty of effect Tommy says',
"All right! Show us what you got!
The kid slowly unrolled it like maybe there was Gold in there or something, and as he unfolds it, I look around at all these black people's faces, me and Tommy and probably a few more in the 12 man Unit, I look back over as it finally reveals there is absolutely nothing there! Not even a smudge! I looked around and I swear to you, I seen the color drain out of at least two of three pure black faces! They jumped back like they'd been scaled with hot water, and I personally thought I had just seen the super natural, because I knew I just seen him crush that cigarette out and it was as if it had disappeared into thin air. He would empty his pockets, let you search him high and low, and that damn cigarette was gone.....
"You don't see it do you?
Six inches in front of my face right under my nose and can't see it and you can buy it any Magic store in the country for fewer than ten bucks. You probably seen the magician take a handkerchief and drape it over his hand, make a little hole and pull a hundred silk or nylon handkerchiefs’ out of it. Tommy could do the same thing except he would put things into and make them disappear, seen him dump a couple of packet's of sugar or even a little water, puff gone into thin air. Once I knew what it was I couldn't wait to get one and they have a magic Store in the French Quarter in New Orleans.
EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK while the cops were rounding up miscreants with phony drug interdiction units and drug store traps, we were in the Trustee Unit trying to burn the jail down smoking pot! How we were getting it in became a great concern with their restraints and search and effective take down methods. Shiny handcuff's they wanted to try and wear out on it's citizenry, not to mention fully charged bottles of MACE they were just itching to try on you after they themselves were MACE’D as part of their Training, and thought everybody deserved a taste of it..
ONE AT A TIME they would lay hands on you as soon as you stepped out of the white county van, stripped, bend over, right into the Isolation Cells right across from "Control," and "Dispatch," which you could barely see them thru heavily smoked glass, but they were watching us rabid animals. I was with the last group into the last of the three isolation cells, four of us were lined up against the wall surrounded by dog's and the entire SWAT team making room for those in watching from Control.
"Mr. William's under Mississippi Code extinguishing a lit cigarette out on an individual is a First degree Arson charge carrying Fifteen years at Parchman Mississippi! But that's not what I am concerned with, 'what I want to know is where that damn cigarette goes?" I was standing right next to Tommy and they made us stand there in just out jail boxer shorts with our hands on our heads and I could keep from busting out laughing but I was smiling...
"Captain Chrome Dome, I mean Captain Donner, you can take me in that cell, put an Apple in my mouth, and I will make your cigarette disappear!"
THIS FAT POT BELLIED balding guy from Nowhere, Ohio had more Charisma than probably anybody I ever met and after I knew him a while, we were Celie's, I would stand back and watch people's face's as he did the same amazing Schick over and over and Penny Cate's had a waiting list of County District's Maintenance Barn's to get to where everybody wanted to know where that cigarette went. Bombshell Wife showed up every day of the week no matter where like she was his Personal Assistant, Card Trick's, Magic Rings, Slight of Hand and when you first met him he would light up with a smile you'd thought you shook hands with Lighting in a Bottle but he looked like the office copier repairman, over weight, kinda geeky, rumpled nothing special clothing...... the damnedest thing you ever saw.... 9:27 AM 10/8/2013