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Showing posts from October, 2013

Clocking the Block 00.07.57 by Mark Anthony Given

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Misers get up early in the morning; and burglars, I am informed, get up the night before.  -G. K. Chesterton  __________________________ WHEN I BEGAN BURGLARIZING houses I was ten years old with a Stop Watch.  I cased these houses for weeks from a tall tree in my backyard a block away from Tampa Bay, I could see and hear and smell.  The whole neighborhood, I knew when they went to work when they got home when the garbage man came and logged it all.  Wrote down all the license plates of my neighbors and any new car parked nearby, I logged it all.    James Bond, 007, Man from U.N.C.L.E., Get Smart, all techno/spy television series of the day somehow convinced me I needed to Clock my whole neighborhood.
           I NEVER STOLE ANYTHING.  After a month or so when I was comfortable with their movements I began entering their homes virtually at Will.  I just wanted to see how other people actually lived, what they had that I didn't and, to see if I could do it. …

BEING CHASED BY THE COPS by Mark Anthony Given

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Let me be clear about this. I don't have a drug problem. I have a police problem. -Keith Richards
 _________________________________          BEING CHASED BY THE COPS in a stolen car leaving a giant new car dealership on the outskirts of town was my first, but not my last, real life police chase and it was exhilarating, I must confess.... I was sixteen years old just broke out of Industry, The New York State School for Boy's I wrote about in "Circle Jerk City," and fell in with one of Rochester New York's most famous felons. I didn't know anything about Derick other than he had a Hollywood gorgeous wife, could draw near Frank Frazetta quality fantasy art and had a black Labrador retriever named "Spooky," who would after several joints made their appointed rounds post up right in front of you and stare into your eyes like he had something to tell you real bad...He had a certain reverence for him that no one questioned his leader…

Bump'n the Curb's by Mark Anthony Given

for Brianna __________________________________

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, 
the jury would never hear the evidence. -Henry Louis Mencken __________________________________
                OF THE HUNDRED'S OF MEN I have met in jail or prison I may be seen four or five outside in the Free World. TOMMY WILLIAMS was one of them. Late 30's, pot bellied, balding white guy from Ohio somewhere looked like the smuck copier repairman that lived across the street you never talked too. By the looks of him, you'd never guess he had 23 old blonde bombshell wife that thought he was the Second Coming, could play any musical instrument you placed in his hands and was a professional magician who could make things disappear. Just the kinda guy I needed in jail.  The first time I met him we had just came back from our Road Crew '"Bump in Curb's," we called it, kinda like a modern day chain gang without the chain…

The Real Drug Store Cowboy Busted by Mark Anthony Given

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___________________ I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
-Steven Wright ______________________________________          GETTING BUSTED SUCKS.  All the things I've done, all the things I got away with, you would have thought I was a natural, but not this time.  Busted Red-handed and trapped right inside the pharmacy, there was only one thing to do... Just like before, Tony's Discount Drug's in a strip mall along Highway 90 in Ocean Springs, Mississippi, early morning hours, still had the hole in the roof from the broken exhaust fan and three bare wires.  After I removed the piece of plywood and cinder block I could see right down into the dimly lit store.
           THE FIRST TIME I ROBBED the Drug Store I described in "The Real Drug Store Cowboy," here on this blog, I remember thinking right after I tied off my little soft rope and slipped off into the Rabbit Hole into wonderland, "This is…